I am not referring to the city of Omaha, but the song from Counting Crows. Why you ask? Because I love Counting Crows and just today received my tickets in the mail for my darling husband and I to go see them in concert.
Music is a huge part of my life. I can't play an instrument (though I did play the flute way back in the day of junior high school) and I don't think I particularly sing very well. What I do have, is a deep love and appreciation for music. It is so soothing to my soul no matter what troubles have dropped into my lap.
I have been thinking a lot about the past, visiting memories long buried and always pushed to the side when they creep up, it is tiring to deal with so much sadness and despair. No, not all of them are painful, it's actually the opposite. I sit and I smile as I think about my sister, or my father, or even my grandparents. It's what comes after, that feeling of loss all over again when the memory is over and life comes crashing back down on you.
I think that as I go I am going to try to purge some of that here. I need a place to talk about how I feel. To talk about the things I went through. I know I am not the only one, but even that doesn't matter anymore. I want to leave my words for my children.
The music, that's what this was about, the music and the way that it helps. Music helps me to write, it helps to heal my heart, it inspires me, makes me laugh (Anyone ever listen to "Skull Crusher Mountain"? If not, do it now), and it can make me cry. I can control my mood through the music that I listen to. I can close my eyes and sing along and let the words roll over my heart.
Not everyone can relate to the way music impacts me, and I'm okay with that. Find whatever it is that does it for you (nope, not the illegal stuff) and really enjoy yourself. Life is too short to fill it with "what could have been" and "if only" statements.
I intend to live my life to the fullest. I will dance through life as often as I can.